look, I am going to need everyone to COOL IT DOWN on murdering moms. I LIKE moms and, you know, maybe there are some other ways to inject some drama other than killing MOMS, like Derek’s mom is dead, obviously, and Stiles’ mom and Malia’s mom and Isaac’s mom, Allison’s mom, of course, mom-of-the-week is dead, never mind, it’s like talking to a damn brick wall. No, but please stop killin’ moms. Take a breath. Get a hobby.
so OBVIOUSLY I suffered through that entire introduction, experiencing emotions running the gamut from “ugh” to “ehhh” and then THE MOMENT DEREK HALE appeared on my screen, the entire feed froze and then by the time I found a new one that worked, I was just watching ten thousand hours of slo-mo lacrosse and I knew Derek Hale was probably gone forever, WHYYY, WHYYYYYY.
Then he showed up and smiled wryly! That part was nice!
Until the middle of the show I thought teeny-tiny lacrosse genius was the same person whose whole family got murdered by Eyes Without a Face and was wondering why he was so calmly trying out for lacrosse, but feeling like it made about as much sense as anything else, like it’s amazing how Teen Wolf has brainwashed me into believing it’s all my fault when I have no idea what’s going on.
It’s sweet how they just pretended MAZE RUNNER BOOT CAMP hadn’t/was not happening, like at least on the X-Files when Gillian Anderson was s-u-p-e-r pregnant they put her behind potted plants and giant briefcases. Here, they just slapped the tightest t-shirt they could find on D’OB and were like Yeah, no, just ignore the—shoulders..and..the..anyway, he’s a weakling: ACTING.
I admit, by the end of the show I was coming around to tiny lacrosse genius, mainly because I was delighted by poor Scott McCall’s dismay at how he kept inadvertently bullying him, like, let’s see: accosted him in the locker room, subjected him to the Stilinski third-degree, figured out he’d been kicked out of school and threw it in his face, unnecessary roughness on the lacrosse field, bit a huge fuckin’ chunk out of his arm, WATCH OUT FOR PUBLIC SCHOOL KIDS, damn.
oh my god, does Lydia have L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y the same story arc as last season? weird unconscious writing, showing up and finding dead bodies, ugghhhhhhhh, also, HOW would Lydia and Stiles be in the same math class as Malia, NO NO, this train of thought is a mistake, no good can come of it.
Coach is obviously the light of my life. I’ve also inexplicably started finding him kinda sexy, so. There’s that, a thing that’s happening. to me.
Look, I’m not going to stop writing stories where Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski are the soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another, but does that mean I somehow can’t enjoy watching them bone down with women/girls who make them smile, sometimes in spite of themselves? Noooooooooope.